Realizaton
by Anansay
Summary: G/S. A short fic, in Grissom's POV about Sara.


TITLE: Realization

AUTHOR: Anansay

RATING: PG-13

SPOILERS: None

SUMMARY: A short fic with Grissom's POV on Sara. 

Enjoy!… 

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Realization

By Anansay

December 26, 2002

She looked at me. And I was suddenly very aware of her. It was an odd feeling. Strange. 

We were working on a case, what else? Sitting at a table, pouring over evidence, one piece seemed to suddenly jump up at us with it's relevance to the case. It was a momentous point, when all the pieces seem to just fall together and the picture forms in the head. Dare I say it… almost orgasmic in nature, because of its climactic importance. The perpetrator would be brought to justice. We could all breathe a bit better now. 

Anyway, the moment had come and we both felt it, the exhilaration. We looked at each other and smiled. Then her smile became something else. Bigger, wider, more happier. Her eyes joined in, twinkling ever more brighter than usual. She always seemed to smile at me, to look at me more than the others. I thought it was just me, but now… 

I felt the flush creep up my neck and touch my face. My smile disappeared as new thoughts came into my head. She seemed to see only me. Her head was resting on her hand, tilted ever so to the side as though it had become too heavy, heavy with her thoughts… about me? 

I wanted to know. Suddenly, I wanted to know. I needed to know. What did she really think? About me? Looking into her eyes, I could imagine her thoughts. My imagination tended to run away without me, so I quelled it, silenced it in hopes that some facts may present themselves. 

I searched her face for any vital clue. My heart beat wildly in my chest, drumming in my ears, drowning out any outside noise. She could have spoken, I would not have heard her. I could feel my chest expanding, pushing against my shirt as my lungs struggled to bring in more oxygen to feed my starving brain, my mind having taken a vacation so it seemed, because no thoughts were forming. 

I struggled to maintain some form of composure, not wanting to appear foolish over possibly nothing, just a look of happiness at having come to the end of this particular journey. 

Her face was all I saw. And her eyes, beautiful chocolate brown, deep and inviting. They seemed to be getting bigger. I looked down and noticed her lips were open, just slightly. I could see the tip of her tongue. My insides jerked in response. It was almost painful. Her tongue snaked out and licked her lips, leaving them wet and shiny. I imagined that tongue somewhere else, not daring to think of a place in particular. That would be too… obscene. After all, she was a coworker, a person whom I had to work with everyday. It would not do to think of her in those terms. But those lips.. that tongue… What would they feel like? On mine… with mine… 

Everything disappeared as my eyes closed and I felt something on my lips. Hers. Her lips were pressed against mine. I was kissing her. Oh my god.. I was kissing Sara! Sara Sidle! 

My hand touched her face, so soft and smooth. She was kissing me back. Her lips moved against mine, as she opened her mouth and I felt her tongue run along my lips. My mouth opened and I touched her tongue. Every muscle in my body was straining against itself. My skin burned like the air had suddenly increased in temperature. My clothes felt sticky and uncomfortable. I wanted to shed them. I wanted to feel her skin against mine, easing the tension, soothing this terrible heat. 

Her hand was in my hair, her fingers in my curls, massaging my head. It sent tingles down my back. Instinctively, my body pressed against hers, my hands had gone around her body and were on her back. I could feel her muscles moving beneath her skin, through her clothes. She moaned into my mouth. The sound sent me on a spiraling trip to a land far away. 

She was warm and soft against me. Her body molded itself to mine, every nook and cranny an airless seam of two bodies pressed tightly together. Her hands were on my back as her lips left mine, and I felt them touch my cheek as they headed for my ear. Oh, the sweet sensations when she took my earlobe into her mouth and began suckling. My body spasmed and my arms held her tightly to me. I couldn't help it, my mouth opened and a moan escaped on my breath. I was melting inside. I was being consumed by the fire she stoked with her lips, her tongue and her hands. 

My eyes opened and slowly the room came into focus. I saw first the ceiling and then the walls. Reality slowly injected itself into the moment and then panic set in. I put hands around her waist and gently pushed her away, my body feeling the loss as much as my heart did. 

The fire slowly died, an agonizing death. My eyes felt sore and I struggled to see her face through the haze. She looked scared and confused. I needed to tell her, to let her know. 

"Sara…"

I saw her swallow as she looked quickly away, her hands smoothing her clothes on her body. "I'm sorry…"

A knife seemed to stab into my chest, into my heart at those words, at her turned away face. The spiral that had pulled me away before suddenly came back and brought me on another journey, to a dark place this time. I looked down, I didn't want to see her face right now. The pain was too great. She hadn't wanted it. It was only a moment. A brief affair of the lips on a detour of time. I swallowed the lump in my throat and faced the pain. 

"I'm sorry too… I… don't know what came over me." I said the words but I wasn't sorry. The words were a lie. It didn't settle well within me. I needed to rid myself of this lie, before it ate away at me. I missed it. I missed her lips, her hands, her body. I missed her. Why did it have to start here?! How can I let her know? "No, Sara. I'm not sorry. If… if you are, it'll never happen again, I promise... But _I_ am not sorry." 

Her head spun around on her neck and her eyes flashed at me. They moved over my face, searching. I held the truth in my eyes. I needed her to know. 

"You're not?" She had whispered the words, unbelieving. 

I leaned toward her, catching and holding her eyes with mine. "No. I'm not." 

"Oh… uh… okay…uh… I'm not, either." Her smile returned, in full force. It pierced through me and caught me. So, the truth wasn't so bad after all…

I smiled. I don't know if it was her stuttering or her admission. A warmth grew in my chest and extended to my whole body. 

It was a good shift. 


End file.
